BLACK SWAN CROWN GREEN BOWLING Harrogate North Yorkshire Newsletter No.1
Disclaimer : Views expressed are of individuals contributing and not the Black Swan Bowling Clubs Official view in any form.

Welcome to our first newsletter on the web. It is some time since our last edition but here goes. I trust our humour is not lost on too many of you.

Newsflash. At Andy Mailers leaving do people thought the emotion had got too much for him as he appeared to be necking with his teammates. However, after the last full moon this was the result.

There is a prize for entries spotting the real Andy Mailer Entries on a post card to the competition secretary Third prize a pair of Andy's tartan trousers Second prize a pair of the shiny stained ones First prize a pair of recently stained tartan trousers

Barry Du Val is to be interviewed by the Magic circle and may be have his magicians status removed following alarming reports.

Rumours have it that on the end of season trip that the hire firm did not provide a key for the fuel cap knowing that Barry was on the trip. Barry however, failed to gain entry to the fuel tank

Following assessment at an aptitude centre Cliff Barker obtains employment working for BT making constant moaning noises on 0898 numbers. The head of BT was quoted as saying "never before has somebody scored 100% in the capacity to moan category"

Dave Smith expresses great delight at the Mailer picture above as he hasn't officially bowled for over two years and is looking into a permanent transplant.

Phil English is still on his journey to boldly go where no bowler would go in their right mind. After attempting to change an alien culture on the planet Knaresnotevensecondnow he has moved onto the Wastelanders and their crater ridden planet that is lacking in any atmosphere

Further news from the end of season trip back from Sheffield as video footage outside Richard Hughes house show his return home sporting Mr Mailers hat. This explains the concept of telephone banking If you can't see them you can't tell what they look like in a morning. We are looking forward to this years trip !

Bad news ladies. As Mr Whittaker renowned as Harrogates most eligible bachelor is now officially well past it. Pictured left 1990 in typical pose its no comparison to the man we see today right who has only recently won the veterans table tennis title.

Well thats all for this issue folks. I hope you have enjoyed it. This page will be updated on a regular basis. I trust we have not offended anybody. As they say watch for the next issue you never know - it could be you !